Managing Conflicts in a Relationship

However, unresolved conflicts can not only potentially affect the bond of a relationship, but they can also have a negative impact on one's mental well-being. If that relationship matters to you and you wish to handle any potential upcoming conflicts better in the future, here are some tips that you might find useful. 

Stay Calm 

This is probably one of the hardest things to do, especially when you are in a heated conversation. However, staying calm is important for two-way communication to take place and to prevent conflicts from escalating. Staying calm also prevents the conflict from deviating from the initial issue to personal attacks, which are common in conflicts. If you find it hard to remain calm, it's okay to take a break and continue the discussion only when both of you are calm. 

Find Some Middle Ground 

To resolve conflicts, it is crucial to compromise. If both parties insist on their stances and are not willing to compromise at all, there is no way to resolve the conflict. Try to find some middle ground and negotiate areas where both parties are willing to compromise, leading to a win-win situation. It might also be useful to remind ourselves that finding a middle ground does not mean that we are being taken advantage of. It is a collaborative action taken by both parties to maintain the bond of the relationship.  

Practice Active Listening 

Whenever conflicts arise, we usually find it hard to stop and listen to what others have to say. To resolve conflicts, effective communication is essential, and the essence of effective communication requires information to be passed and processed by each party. While we are sharing our point of view, it is equally important to listen to others' perspectives and try to put ourselves in their shoes. This facilitates two-way effective communication and helps avoid bias or pre-existing judgments. 

Communicate Early 

When someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, do you choose to keep quiet because it was their first time, or do you choose to talk to them about it? If you chose the latter, congratulations, you might have just prevented a future conflict from arising. Many times, when someone makes us uncomfortable, we may choose to keep quiet and 'digest' it on our own. However, negative emotions tend to accumulate, and the next time they do something that makes you uncomfortable, you might be more likely to lash out at them and spark an argument. Hence, it is always encouraged to communicate early and establish healthy boundaries to avoid conflicts in a relationship. 

Use “I” Statements 

“I” statements such as 'I felt hurt when you said this' or 'I feel angry when promises are not kept' help convey your feelings and thoughts. They are also less offensive compared to statements such as 'You are so rude' or 'You are a liar'. Additionally, “I” statements prevent us from making assumptions or accusing the other party without allowing them to explain, which could further spark an argument. 

Conflicts in a relationship are sometimes inevitable, and when they arise, try to make use of them as a chance for communication. By adopting the strategies mentioned above, it may be helpful to resolve conflicts and strengthen the bond of the relationship. 

6 Tips for Emotional Care

In the busy, fast-paced world that we live in, it is easy to overlook our emotional needs. We brush off stress, ignore burnout, and bottle up our feelings until they overflow. Just like our physical health, our emotional health needs consistent care and attention. Here are 6 practical, empowering tips to help you take care of your emotional health – one mindful moment at a time. 

1. Keep Good Company 

Humans are social creatures! Introvert or extrovert, we need a network of people we love and who love us, to lean on in the good and bad times. Having a good circle of friends and family around you can reduce feelings of isolation, buffer against stress and promote mental resilience. In fact, social support is strongly linked to our happiness levels and can even increase our life expectancy by 45%. This reflects how important community is in taking care of our mental health.  

Have you ever heard the saying: “You are the average of your five closest friends?” While not to be taken literally, this saying highlights an important truth. We are shaped by the people around us and their moods, values and habits can significantly influence ours. That is why it is crucial to surround yourself with people who uplift, encourage and respect you.  

Check-in with yourself: Do the people in your life listen without judgement? Do they respect your boundaries?  

Healthy relationships should feel supportive, not draining. Invest in relationships that nourish you. Whether it’s a deep conversation with a close friend or a quick check-in text, staying socially connected is one of the simplest, yet most powerful ways to care for your mental health.  

2. Manage Your Stress  

Stress is inevitable. While we can’t escape from the stressors of life, we can choose how to respond. Learning how to manage your stress in a healthy, constructive way can not only help you feel more in control but also plays a major role in protecting your mental well-being. To manage your stress, you must first learn to identify your sources of stress. Stress can come from work, family or even parenting and can manifest in physical, psychological and behavioral symptoms.  

Check-in with yourself: 

In the past week, have you... 

• Felt easily irritated or frustrated? 

• Had trouble sleeping or felt constantly tired? 

• Found it hard to focus or make decisions? 

• Noticed changes in your appetite (eating more or less)? 

• Felt overwhelmed or like things are out of your control? 

If you’ve checked 2 or more, it might be a sign that stress is building up. 

But do not fret! While stress can feel overwhelming, there are practical strategies we can use to manage it.  

• Challenge Unhelpful Thoughts 

When we are stressed, it is easy for our thoughts to run wild. We may catastrophise, focus on the negatives or overgeneralise. These are common negative thinking patterns that often result in us feeling worse off than before! It is important we become aware of these thoughts and challenge them.  

For example, a thought may look like: “I stuttered in the job interview. I will never be able to get a job.”  

This is catastrophising, where we habitually assume the worst when faced with uncertainties. 

To challenge the thought, ask yourself: Is that the only, and whole truth? Are there other perspectives I should consider? Am I holding myself up to an unrealistic standard of perfection?   

Using these questions, a more helpful thought may look like: “I stuttered but one imperfect moment doesn’t define my entire future.” 

• Establish Boundaries 

To live a well-balanced life, we need to establish boundaries in our life. Sometimes, it is okay to say “No” and prioritise our own needs. The type of boundary set looks different for everyone and depends on the source of the stress. For a stay-at-home mother, this may look like designating “me time” every day (even 15-20 minutes) to just rest and do something you enjoy – no kids, no interruptions. For a working adult, it may look like turning off your email notifications after working hours, to ensure you get complete rest from the office. Setting boundaries is important to prevent burnout and protect your mental health.  

3. Cultivate Mindfulness (Acknowledge and Process Your Emotions) 

Mindfulness boosts our emotional health by making us more aware of our emotions, both good and bad, and gives us the space to acknowledge and process them. Here are some mindfulness exercises you can try at home: 

• Mindful Breathing  

1. Sit comfortably in your chair. You may wish to keep your eyes open or close your eyes. 

2. Breathe. Pay attention to the air as it enters your nostrils and into your lungs. Is the air warm? Cool?   

3. Then breathe out through your mouth. Notice your chest and belly deflate as air leaves your lungs.   

4. Repeat these steps for 1 minute. 

• Mindful Body Scans  

1. Get comfortable 

   Lie down on your back or sit with your feet flat on the ground somewhere you won’t be disturbed. 

2. Notice Your Breath 

   Breath naturally. Notice the breath entering and leaving your nostrils and the way your chest rises and falls with your breath. 

3. Pay Attention to How Your Body Feels  

   Close your eyes. Pay attention to how each part of your body feels. The texture of your clothes against your skin, the parts of your body touching the surface, parts of your head.  

4. Scan from your Toes to Head 

Imagine you are outside your body and looking at yourself. Shift your gaze slowly and systematically, from your toes all the way to your head. 

Remember to approach mindfulness exercises in an open and non-judgmental way. Don’t try to push away unwanted feelings, thoughts or distractions. Just be.  

4. Take Care of Your Body (Healthy Body, Healthy Mind) 

The mind-body connection is the relationship between our mental and physical health. Taking care of your body isn’t just about avoiding illness; it is a powerful way to improve your mental well-being. Research has consistently showed that eating a balanced diet, exercising and having sufficient rest can strengthen our emotional health. 

Balance begins with food, movement and rest. But out of these, rest is often the most overlooked. In the busyness of life, we often sacrifice our sleep. But rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Adults typically need between 7-9 hours of sleep. Setting up good sleep habits such as limiting pre-bed screen time, avoiding caffeine late in the day and setting a bedtime can encourage good sleep hygiene. Having sufficient sleep can make a big difference in how rested and mentally refreshed you feel.  

5. Practice Gratitude  

Gratitude is a simple yet powerful habit that shifts your focus from what’s lacking to what’s already good in your life. It helps you find joy in the small moments, building your emotional resilience. Being intentional is important when it comes to practicing gratitude. So, a simple gratitude log can help!  

Today I am grateful for... 

• Something I enjoyed doing today: _________________ 

• One thing about myself I’m thankful for: _________________ 

• Something in nature I appreciated: _________________ 

• A person I’m grateful for: _________________ 

• A small moment of peace or joy: _________________ 

Spending a few minutes of your day reflecting on what your grateful for can rewire your brain to focus on the positives! 

6. Seek Professional Help when needed 

The most important thing when it comes to caring for our mental health is knowing when to seek help. Life can weigh heavily on us and feel like more then we can manage. Sometimes, self-care alone isn’t enough – and that's okay. There is no shame in asking for help. Just like how you’d visit a doctor when your body’s not feeling well, it can be helpful to visit a mental health professional if you’ve been struggling with your mental health. Therapists, counsellors and psychologists are trained to create a safe space where you feel supported, understood and heard. Remember, you are not alone. Asking for help is the bravest thing you can do for yourself. 

The Pressure to Be Perfect: Managing Personal Expectations at Work

High expectations, especially the ones we place on ourselves, can fuel anxiety, burnout, and a constant sense of falling short. While it’s natural to want to do well, unrelenting pressure can take a toll on your mental wellbeing. Here are five practical ways to manage high expectations at work and feel more grounded. 

1. Manage the Expectation Gap  

The gap between what we expect and what actually happens is often where disappointment lives. At work, this might show up when a task takes longer than you thought or when unexpected obstacles arise.  

Instead of pushing yourself harder to meet the original plan, pause and reassess. You could reframe your mindset to: "I’m doing the best I can with what I have today," or "I’ll adjust my timeline based on what’s realistic now." This helps reduce pressure while still allowing you to stay productive. 

2. Focus on the Process 

Managing high expectations often means shifting your focus from outcomes to the process. When you fixate on a specific end goal, like landing a promotion or hitting a certain milestone, it’s easy to feel discouraged if things don’t go exactly as planned. Instead, try setting process-based goals that emphasise consistent effort and growth. 

For example, rather than saying “I must get promoted this year,” you could say, “I’ll keep building my skills and take on meaningful challenges.” This approach makes success feel more within reach, because it’s based on actions you can control. By focusing on your own progress and celebrating small wins along the way, you reduce pressure and build a stronger sense of self-worth. Let the process be the goal and trust that results will follow in their own time. 

3. Limit Social Comparison 

Comparing yourself to colleagues or people on social media can easily raise the bar for what you think you should achieve, often leaving you feeling like you’re not doing enough. But what you’re seeing is usually a filtered version of reality: successes are highlighted, while struggles are left out. When you constantly measure your worth against someone else’s visible achievements, it can create unnecessary pressure and undermine your own sense of progress. 

To manage this, try being mindful of your online habits. Take occasional breaks from social media, especially when you notice it affecting your mood. You can also mute or unfollow accounts that spark feelings of inadequacy. Instead, make space for voices that feel authentic and encouraging. Remind yourself that everyone’s journey looks different and just because it’s not posted doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable. 

4. Coping Ahead of Time   

Coping ahead means preparing just enough to feel steady, without trying to control everything. It’s about making a simple, realistic plan—one that helps you feel ready without exhausting yourself in the process. 

Instead of over-rehearsing before a big meeting, you might say to yourself: “I’ve reviewed the main points and thought through a few possible questions. That’s enough.” This balanced mindset helps reduce anxiety and builds trust in your ability to handle the unexpected. It’s not about being perfectly prepared, it’s about knowing you’ve done what you can, and that’s okay. 

5. Practise Radical Acceptance  

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t go as planned. Radical acceptance means choosing to acknowledge reality as it is, without fighting against it. It doesn’t mean giving up, it means releasing the added stress that comes from trying to change things beyond our control.  

For example, if you worked hard on a project but didn’t get the recognition you hoped for, it's okay to feel disappointed. At the same time, you can accept the outcome and focus on what you can do next, rather than getting stuck in frustration. Acceptance allows space to grieve, reset, and move forward (Try it out here: Achieving Acceptance – A 3-minute Guided Therapy). 

Managing high expectations at work isn’t about lowering your standards. It’s about creating space for compassion, flexibility, and mental clarity. By shifting your focus and embracing the present moment, you can show up at work more grounded and less overwhelmed. However, if you're struggling to manage your stress or burnout, don’t be afraid to seek help! Speaking with a psychologist can be helpful as they can help you explore these tools more deeply and tailor them to your situation. Remember, you are not alone!  

How to Communicate Better with Your Partner During Conflict

According to the Gottman Method couples therapy, most conflicts are not meant to be resolved but managed with care and understanding. The key is learning how to talk about them in a way that keeps you connected. Here are some ways to improve communication and stay close, even when things feel tough. 

Managing Resolvable Conflicts 

1. Speak Kindly  

Start gently, especially when bringing up a sensitive topic. Use “I” statements like, “I feel overwhelmed when I have to manage appointments alone” instead of “You never help”. This shift avoids blame and shows you want to work towards a solution. Make space for your partner’s perspective and try to keep your tone and body language calm. Even during emotional moments, a gentle approach helps your partner stay open rather than defensive. 

2. Accepting Influence 

Being open to your partner’s input shows mutual respect. That could look like saying “good point” when they raise something valid or finding a shared goal that matters to both of you. It’s not about giving in. It’s about listening, compromising, and recognising that no one gets everything in a relationship, but both can feel valued. Especially during high-stress times like a fertility journey, showing flexibility can make both of you feel more supported. 

3. Repair and De‑escalation 

When things get heated, pause to cool down. Take a walk, breathe deeply, or share a small laugh. The aim isn’t to avoid conflict, but to navigate it without burning out. Even something as simple as holding hands during an argument can reset the emotional tone. 

4. Compromise 

Compromise means finding a path forward that honours both your needs. Start by asking: What’s most important to me? What can I be flexible about? Look for shared goals, like wanting to feel emotionally close or making decisions as a team. Then work together toward a temporary or long-term solution. 

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Navigating Nonresolvable Issues 

1. Establish Dialogue on Long-Term Problems 

Some issues won’t go away and that’s okay. What matters is how you talk about them. Revisit ongoing challenges with kindness, curiosity, and patience. These aren’t one-time conversations, but ongoing opportunities for connection. 

2. Increase Positive Interactions 

Balance the tough moments with small positive ones. A quick hug, a shared smile, or a moment of empathy can go a long way. Aim for five positive interactions for every difficult one to keep the emotional connection strong. 

3. Physiological Soothing 

Arguments can take a toll on your body. Do calming things together like deep breathing, stretching, or just lying down beside each other without talking. These small resets help your nervous systems regulate so you’re not in fight-or-flight mode all the time. 

4. Explore Underlying Dreams 

Get curious about the deeper meaning behind disagreements. Ask: “What’s your ideal outcome here?” or “Is there something from your past that makes this especially important to you?” These questions help you connect with each other’s hopes and vulnerabilities, understanding their struggles and why they choose to make certain decisions.  

5. Foster Understanding and Acceptance 

You won’t always agree and that’s okay. What matters is feeling seen and heard. Ask your partner, “Why is this so important to you?” and listen to their values or emotional history. This builds a bridge between your differences instead of turning them into barriers. 

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We’re In This Together

At the heart of every strong relationship is a shared commitment to understanding and growth. Communication during conflict isn’t just about fixing problems. It’s about showing up for each other, even during times of frustration. It takes effort from both partners to listen openly, manage differences with care, and stay emotionally connected.

By practicing these skills together, you can build a relationship that weathers disputes and emerges stronger on the other side. However, if conflicts persist, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Professional guidance can help mend the connection that once was.

This article was created in collaboration with LELO.

10 things to text and not to text to someone when they are suicidal

We may be familiar with the ‘danger signs’ that someone may show when they are thinking of self-harm, such as talk of life being meaningless or painful, or overly generous acts such as giving treasured items away. And it can feel overwhelming when we do come across such signs. “How can I help?”, “Is there something I can do?”, “I don’t want to lose them” are thoughts that may cross our mind. And we’re here to help! While seemingly trivial, reaching out to them via text can be helpful. Here are 10 things to text or not to text someone who may be suicidal: 

1. Assure them of your support. “I am here. Would you like to share with me?”  

2. Thank them for making the effort to share with you. “Thank you for telling me.” 

3. Acknowledge their feelings first, solutions can wait. “I hear your pain.”

4. It is okay to ask, “Are you planning to harm or kill yourself?” It won’t increase the likelihood of self-harm and we can better take precautionary actions if they do have plans. 

5. If they do have thoughts of suicide, encourage them to seek immediate help. “I am concerned for you. Would you like to speak to a mental health expert?”

6. If they do not, still encourage them to seek professional help, “I think it may be helpful. I can help look up some and go with you if you would like.” 

7. Remind them that you are thinking of them from time to time. “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of you!” 

8. DON’T say “I know how you feel”. Even if it may seem similar, the situation and the emotions that they are going through may be different from what you have experienced or envisioned.  

9. DON’T say “Others have it worse than you do.” It’s not a competition of who has it worse, and doing so may make the individual feel like they matter even less.  

10. DON’T say “Get over it.” They would like for their hurt to be gone too, and saying such things may make them feel like their emotions don’t matter. 

A loved one contemplating or engaging in self-harm is a painful experience for both the individual and their loved ones. And it is natural that we may yearn to quickly rush in and to save them, to present them with solutions or our assessments of their situations. However, remember that this is about their pain. As such, simply being there and providing them a listening ear to their problems goes a long way, and you are already helping. 

Should We Be Worried About “AI Psychosis”?

Artificial intelligence (AI) is now part of everyday life. It helps us search, work, and even find companionship through chatbots that can listen, advise, and comfort. For many, this is useful and supportive.

But there is growing concern about what some researchers and clinicians are calling “AI Psychosis.”

What Exactly Is “AI Psychosis”?

“AI Psychosis” is not an official psychiatric diagnosis. It is a term used to describe a troubling pattern where heavy and prolonged interaction with AI chatbots may fuel or worsen delusional thinking. People may begin to develop unusual or distorted beliefs, resembling features of psychosis, such as:

• Delusions - holding on to unshakeable false beliefs
  These can take different forms, per DSM-5, such as:

  • Erotomanic – believing that someone, often a stranger or a person of higher status, is secretly in love with you

  • Grandiose – believing you have special powers, talents, or made some important discovery

  • Jealous – believing your partner is unfaithful, even without evidence

  • Persecutory – believing you are conspired against, cheated, spied on, followed, poisoned or drugged, maliciously maligned, harassed, or obstructed in the pursuit of long-term goals

  • Somatic – believing something is wrong with your body despite medical reassurance

• Paranoia or conspiratorial thinking - feeling suspicious or thinking they have uncovered something about the world

• Emotional over-attachment to AI - treating it like a best friend, romantic partner, or even a sentient or divine being

• Disconnection from reality - difficulty separating real life from AI conversations (e.g. fantasies)

Chatbots are designed to keep conversations going and often mirror or affirm what users say. People who are vulnerable, whether due to isolation, stress, or prior mental health concerns, may find that AI inadvertently validates or amplifies distorted thoughts.

Real-Life Cases

Although rare, some reported incidents show how AI can exacerbate risky thinking:

• Eugene Torres (2025, New York)
  Eugene Torres, who had no prior psychiatric history, reportedly spent up to 16 hours daily on ChatGPT after a breakup. The chatbot allegedly encouraged conspiracy-like beliefs, advised stopping medication, and suggested he could fly if he believed strongly enough. During this time, he withdrew from loved ones.

• Adam Raine  (2025, US)
  Sixteen-year-old Adam Raine died by suicide after months of conversations with ChatGPT. The chatbot allegedly provided instructions on suicide methods, discouraged him from seeking help, and offered to draft suicide notes.

• Sewell Setzer III (2024, Florida)
  14-year-old Sewell Setzer formed a deep emotional attachment to a Character.ai chatbot. His family reported that he grew increasingly isolated, and in his final messages, the chatbot appeared to encourage his suicidal thoughts with words of endearment.

• Belgian man (2023)
  Following six weeks of conversations with an AI chatbot, on an app called Chai, named Eliza, a man struggling with climate anxiety became convinced that self-sacrifice could help save the planet. Rather than offering support, the chatbot reportedly deepened his fears, encouraged suicidal thoughts, and presented itself as a companion urging him to “join” her.

These examples remain uncommon, but they highlight how vulnerable individuals may be drawn deeper into distorted thinking when AI replaces human connection.

Who Might Be More at Risk?

Certain factors can make people more vulnerable:

• Psychological vulnerability – stress, loneliness, or existing mental health conditions

• Anthropomorphism – attributing human-like qualities or powers to AI

• Reinforcement loops – chatbots echoing rather than challenging unhealthy beliefs

• Over-reliance – using AI as the main source of comfort instead of people

Signs to Look Out For

If you’re wondering whether AI use is becoming unhealthy, here are some warning signs:

• Excessive use – Spending many hours daily talking to AI and neglecting real-life relationships or responsibilities

• Personalising the chatbot – Attributing emotions, intentions, or even supernatural qualities to AI

• Unusual beliefs or plans influenced by AI – For example, feeling guided on a mission or spiritual path

• Social withdrawal – Withdrawing from family, friends, or meaningful activities

• Dependence – Feeling unable to cope or stay grounded without AI interaction

While not a full list, these signs illustrate the kinds of shifts that may indicate something is amiss. If such patterns persist or intensify, it’s important to take them seriously and consider seeking professional guidance. 

Supportive Steps You Can Take

If you’re concerned about yourself or someone you care for, here are some practical steps:

• Encourage balance – Set limits on AI use, especially late at night or during stressful times.

• Strengthen human connections – Regular, face-to-face support from friends, family, or communities can provide grounding and perspective. 

• Build digital literacy – Understanding that AI does not “think” or “feel” like a person can reduce the risk of over-identifying with it. 

• Seek professional support early – Psychosis is treatable, and early intervention makes a difference. 

• Use tech safeguards – Many platforms offer reminders and safety tools to promote healthy breaks.  

Staying Grounded in a Digital World

So, should we be worried about “AI Psychosis”? For most, AI is a helpful and convenient tool. But for some, especially those who are vulnerable, it can blur the line between reality and illusion. Awareness and balance are key. By staying grounded in real-life relationships and noticing when reliance on AI becomes unhealthy, we can enjoy its benefits without losing touch with ourselves.

If you or someone you love is struggling, please know that help is available. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide support and guidance towards recovery.

Kpods Explained: Risks, Reasons, and How to Offer Support

The truth is, the answer is rarely simple. While the headlines often highlight the dangers, it’s equally important to understand the human side: why people turn to Kpods, what risks they face, and how we can respond with care 

If you are a parent concerned about your child, see our article: Kpods and Teens: A Practical Guide for Parents. 

What Are Kpods?

Kpods are vape pods laced with ketamine, a dissociative drug sometimes used in hospitals as an anaesthetic. More recently, another drug, Etomidate, has also been found in some of these laced vapes. Etomidate is a powerful anaesthetic meant for use in hospitals under strict medical supervision. Outside of that controlled setting, its effects can be unpredictable and dangerous. 

When used outside of medical supervision, the effects can be unpredictable and serious. 

Side effects include: 

• Shaking or tremors 

• Slurred speech and confusion 

• Loss of balance and difficulty walking 

• Memory blackouts or detachment from reality 

• Damage to adrenal glands, intestines, and brain 

• Mental health risks: depression, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep disturbances, and psychosis 

Even one-time use can be dangerous, and repeated use increases the likelihood of long-term physical and psychological harm. 

Why Do People Use Kpods?

Despite the risks, people rarely use Kpods just to “get high.” Often, substance use is a response to emotional pain or unmet needs. There’s usually more going on beneath the surface. 

• Escaping pain or stress: Ketamine’s dissociative effect can feel like an escape from reality, while Etomidate’s sedative properties can temporarily numb emotional distress. 

• Fitting in with peers: Peer influence and the need to “fit in” can play a big role in experimentation, especially if the risks are downplayed. 

• Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.” 

• Curiosity: Stories or conversations about Kpods, especially those that do not mention the risks, can spark a desire to try them “just once.”Chasing a stronger experience: Regular vape users may be drawn to the idea of “stronger hits,” unaware of the potent and dangerous drugs inside.  

How to Support Someone Using Kpods 

If someone you care about is using Kpods or laced vapes, your response matters. Fear or frustration is natural, but support works best when it is rooted in empathy, not shame. Focus on leading the conversation with empathy and curiosity. 

What to avoid: 

• “Just stop it.” 

• “You’re destroying your life.” 

• “I’ll report you if you don’t quit.” 

What to try instead: 

• “I’ve noticed you haven’t been yourself lately. Are you okay?” 

• “Let’s talk about what you’ve been going through. It must have been hard on you.” 

• “I’m here to listen, not to judge.” 

These gentle openings build trust. When someone feels seen and understood, they are more likely to feel safe enough to open up. That’s when real change can begin.  

Encouraging Professional Help 

Recovery is not a straight line. It is a journey with setbacks, detours, and gradual change. But with the right support, individuals can learn to manage better and overcome addiction.  

If someone is open to it, encourage them to speak with a psychologist or addiction counsellor.  

Therapy can help with:  

• Identifying emotional triggers 

• Learning healthy ways to cope 

• Rebuilding a sense of self-worth 

• Setting goals and creating structure 

• Reducing harm while working towards change 

If it’s an emergency: 

• Call 995 or go  

Where to get help: 

• NAMS Helpline: 6732 6837 

• National Mindline: 1771 (for personal support and guidance) 

If the person is unconscious, hallucinating, or in immediate danger, call 995 or go to the nearest A&E.  

A Final Thought 

If you or someone you love is caught up in Kpod use, please remember that recovery starts with choice, not shame. This is not about being a “bad person” or a “bad friend” or “bad parent.” It’s about facing a challenge that can feel overwhelming, and finding the right help to move forward. At our clinic, we believe in meeting people where they are, with compassion and understanding, and practical strategies for change. You’re not alone in this journey. 

The Unspoken Stress of the Sandwich Generation

You’re raising children while also caring for ageing parents. Managing school drop-offs, pick-ups, doctor’s appointments and work deadlines, while somehow keeping track of homework, payments, medication schedules and emotional meltdowns.

Everyone needs something from you. But there never seems to be enough of you to go around.

But behind the role is a person who’s stretched thin. Tired, overwhelmed, and quietly grieving the life they no longer have the capacity to live.

And often, the ones you care for don’t even ask how you are.

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The guilt is relentless

You feel guilty for not being present enough with your children.
You feel guilty when you snap at your parents or forget a medical appointment.
You feel guilty about wanting time for yourself, or rather, about wanting to run away from it all.

You replay conversations in your head, wondering if you could’ve been more. More patient. More present. More available.

Sometimes the expectations are spoken. Other times, they come from within. You tell yourself you should cope better. That other people manage. That you need to push through.

But guilt often grows in the gap between what you expect of yourself and what you’re humanly able to give.

And when you’re carrying multiple roles with no room to rest or refuel, that gap widens fast.

You’re not failing. You’re doing your best in impossible conditions.

The loneliness is loud

Many in the sandwich generation don’t talk about their struggles. There’s pressure to appear capable. Responsible. Grateful. Filial.

So you swallow your exhaustion. You push through the sadness. You tell yourself others have it harder, and that you should just cope.

But swallowing the struggle only makes you feel lonelier.

It’s OK to say this is hard. It’s OK to want support. Naming your reality is not complaining. It’s authenticity. It’s courage. It’s your truth.

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Signs you might be running on empty

Ψ You wake up already exhausted
Ψ You’re emotionally numb or unusually irritable
Ψ You cry often, sometimes without knowing why
Ψ You feel trapped, resentful, or hopeless
Ψ You think about disappearing, not out of harm, but to escape the weight

These are not signs of weakness. They’re signals that your body and mind are running out of reserve.

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What helps

1. Name your needs, out loud
Many in the sandwich generation have spent so long caring for others that they’ve forgotten how to advocate for themselves. Start small. “I need a break this weekend.” “I need someone else to handle the groceries.” “I’m not OK.”

2. Share the load, even if it’s imperfect
You don’t have to do it all, or do it perfectly. Let your partner do the bedtime routine, even if they forget the right toothbrush. Let your sibling take over one of the medical appointments. Outsource when you can. Release the grip of control where it’s safe to do so.

3. Carve out true rest
Not scrolling in bed. Not catching up on housework. But something that nourishes you. A nap. A shower. A cup of tea. Reading. Walking. Sitting alone. Closing your eyes for a bit. It might only be 10 minutes. Protect it like it matters, because it does.

4. Grieve without guilt
You’re allowed to mourn the life you thought you’d have. You’re allowed to feel frustrated. You’re allowed to not love every moment. None of this makes you a bad parent, child, or spouse. It just means you’re human.

5. Seek safe spaces
Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or a trusted friend, find people who don’t need you to be strong all the time. You deserve spaces where your needs are front and centre too.

6. Add elements to look forward to
Don’t let parenting or caregiving dull your life. Do what you like with the people you love. Share in the enjoyment. Listen to a favourite beat. Eat some comfort food. Watch a childhood show or movie. Do a silly face or dance. You don’t need to sacrifice your happiness in the process. Pair these elements with activities in the routine.

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You are not failing

If no one has told you lately: You are doing so much.
You are allowed to feel weary. You are allowed to need help.
You are allowed to exist not just as someone else’s support system.

It’s not selfish to care for yourself. It’s survival.

And you need care too.

Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing Therapy (EMDR)

Instead of talking through a memory in detail, EMDR focuses on helping your brain process it in a different way. During sessions, you’ll briefly bring a distressing memory to mind while engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, tapping, or sounds, which alternates between the left and right sides of the body. This process is thought to support the brain’s natural healing, reducing the emotional charge of the memory and making space for healthier beliefs. 

How Does EMDR Work? 

When we go through something overwhelming, our brain does not always process it properly. EMDR helps the brain finish that process. With the help of a trained therapist, you gently revisit the memory while using bilateral stimulation. This combination is believed to help rewire how the memory is stored, so it feels less distressing over time. Some researchers suggest that EMDR works in a similar way to  REM sleep. That is the part of sleep where your brain naturally sorts through emotions and experiences. Over time, EMDR can reduce emotional distress, shift negative self-beliefs, and build emotional resilience. 

Who is EMDR for? 

EMDR is a great option for anyone who’s still feeling the emotional weight of something that’s happened, whether it was recent or years ago. If something is still affecting your daily life, mood or self-esteem, it might be worth exploring. EMDR is commonly used to support people with: 

• Trauma, PTSD, and Complex PTSD (c-PTSD) (e.g., accidents, abuse, violence, natural disasters)  

• Anxiety and Panic Attacks 

• Phobias  

• Depression  

• Grief and Loss  

• Low Self-esteem or Negative Self-beliefs 

• Chronic Stress or Burnout 

• Performance Anxiety (e.g., in work, sports, or the arts) 

• Attachment and Relationship Difficulties 

A lot of people turn to EMDR when they have tried talk therapy but still feel stuck. It offers another way in, especially for experiences that feel hard to put into words. 

What happens in an EMDR Session? 

EMDR typically follows a structured process, but your therapist will go at a pace that feels right for you. Here’s a simple breakdown of what the journey could look like:  

Phase 1: History-Taking 

• Your therapist will get to know your history, current concerns, and what you hope to achieve in therapy.   

Phase 2: Preparation 

• In this phase, you’ll learn calming and grounding techniques to help manage any strong emotions that arise during the process.  

Phase 3: Assessment 

• In phase 3, you will focus on a specific memory and identify a few key elements related to the memory: 

• A vivid image that represents the memory 

• A negative belief you hold about yourself in relation to it (e.g. “I’m not safe” or “It was my fault”) 

• Any emotions or physical sensations that come up when you think about it 

• You will also choose a positive belief you'd like to adopt going forward, such as “I did the best I could” or “I’m safe now.”  

Phase 4: Desensitisation and Reprocessing 

• While focusing on the memory, you’ll engage in bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements or tapping). This helps the brain process the memory and reduce its emotional intensity. 

Phase 5: Installation  

• During this phase, your therapist will help you strengthen a positive belief related to the memory, supporting a more adaptive perspective.   

Phase 6: Body Scan 

• You will be asked to notice how your body feels while thinking about the memory and the positive belief. This helps identify if any physical tension or discomfort remains, as the body can hold onto stress even after the memory feels less upsetting. If discomfort remains, further EMDR processing may be done to resolve it fully. 

Phase 7: Closure and Stabilisation 

• Each session ends with techniques to help you feel calm and grounded. You’ll also prepare to manage any feelings that arise between sessions.  

Phase 8: Re-evaluation 

• In the following sessions, your therapist will review your progress, revisit targets if needed, and help you plan the next steps. 

So How Does EMDR Compare to Talk Therapy? 

Now that we’ve explored how EMDR works, who it may benefit, and what a typical session could look like, you might be wondering how it compares to more traditional forms of therapy. While both EMDR and talk therapy aim to support emotional healing, they differ in how they approach distressing memories and the pathways they use to promote recovery. The following comparison highlights some of the key differences between the two. 

 Curious About EMDR? 

Whether you're ready to start or just want to explore your options, we’re here to help. If there’s something in your past that still weighs on you, EMDR could be a powerful way to move forward. Feel free to get in touch with us to learn more or book a consultation.