However, unresolved conflicts can not only potentially affect the bond of a relationship, but they can also have a negative impact on one's mental well-being. If that relationship matters to you and you wish to handle any potential upcoming conflicts better in the future, here are some tips that you might find useful.
Stay Calm
This is probably one of the hardest things to do, especially when you are in a heated conversation. However, staying calm is important for two-way communication to take place and to prevent conflicts from escalating. Staying calm also prevents the conflict from deviating from the initial issue to personal attacks, which are common in conflicts. If you find it hard to remain calm, it's okay to take a break and continue the discussion only when both of you are calm.
Find Some Middle Ground
To resolve conflicts, it is crucial to compromise. If both parties insist on their stances and are not willing to compromise at all, there is no way to resolve the conflict. Try to find some middle ground and negotiate areas where both parties are willing to compromise, leading to a win-win situation. It might also be useful to remind ourselves that finding a middle ground does not mean that we are being taken advantage of. It is a collaborative action taken by both parties to maintain the bond of the relationship.
Practice Active Listening
Whenever conflicts arise, we usually find it hard to stop and listen to what others have to say. To resolve conflicts, effective communication is essential, and the essence of effective communication requires information to be passed and processed by each party. While we are sharing our point of view, it is equally important to listen to others' perspectives and try to put ourselves in their shoes. This facilitates two-way effective communication and helps avoid bias or pre-existing judgments.
Communicate Early
When someone does something that makes you uncomfortable, do you choose to keep quiet because it was their first time, or do you choose to talk to them about it? If you chose the latter, congratulations, you might have just prevented a future conflict from arising. Many times, when someone makes us uncomfortable, we may choose to keep quiet and 'digest' it on our own. However, negative emotions tend to accumulate, and the next time they do something that makes you uncomfortable, you might be more likely to lash out at them and spark an argument. Hence, it is always encouraged to communicate early and establish healthy boundaries to avoid conflicts in a relationship.
Use “I” Statements
“I” statements such as 'I felt hurt when you said this' or 'I feel angry when promises are not kept' help convey your feelings and thoughts. They are also less offensive compared to statements such as 'You are so rude' or 'You are a liar'. Additionally, “I” statements prevent us from making assumptions or accusing the other party without allowing them to explain, which could further spark an argument.
Conflicts in a relationship are sometimes inevitable, and when they arise, try to make use of them as a chance for communication. By adopting the strategies mentioned above, it may be helpful to resolve conflicts and strengthen the bond of the relationship.