In every relationship, a couple will go through their fair share of ups and downs. However, when a partner is going through depression or anxiety, both partners face a new set of challenges.

Couples therapy helps both partners learn essential skills and techniques to help work through depression and anxiety as a team. In this article, we will provide some insights and guidance as to how our psychologists and marriage and family therapist can help you do so.

Is my partner suffering from anxiety? 

Anxiety is an ordinary human response to challenging events.

Challenging events range from very mild (did I lock my door this morning?) to really problematic challenges. When feelings of anxiety begin to affect other aspects of your everyday life and spirals out of control, this is when things start becoming a cause for concern.

Symptoms of anxiety include feeling nervous, irritable or on edge, feeling a sense of impending danger, panic or doom, and an increased heart rate or heart palpitations. These symptoms are hard to control and once experienced, which in turn affects other aspects of an individual’s life.

Is my partner suffering from depression?

Depression can manifest differently for each person, but there are common signs and symptoms that may indicate your partner is struggling with mental health issues.

The first tell-tale sign is an immediate change in lifestyle. For example, if your partner used to be physically active but now sleeps more or tires easily that is not better explained by another reason, he or she might be experiencing symptoms of depression.

Unexplained changes in moods or behavior could also be indicative of depression. Anhedonia—the feeling of no longer taking pleasure in activities that were once enjoyable—is another telltale sign.

Individuals going through depression are often unaware of the changes in their own emotional state. However, while changes in our emotional states occur regularly, the key difference in depression is how frequently and intensely such changes occur. It is normal to experience a couple of bad or sad days due to certain circumstances and situations. However, if such emotional changes occur constantly and consistently for more than two weeks, they should warrant immediate attention.

Challenges of depression and anxiety in marriages

Experiencing anxiety and depression places huge distress on the individual. However, it can equally be as distressing for the other partner. They usually will have to take on more economical, domestic, and parenting responsibilities, such as:

Ψ Employment and finances
Ψ Family activities
Ψ Emotional well-being
Ψ Social life

Supporting your partner

A healthy marriage involves both partners working as a team in every situation. Providing crucial support means, “I will be there for you, just like how I know you would do the same for me.” You can help to facilitate management and improvement through much encouragement and support. Here are some tips on how to support your partner:

Ψ Educate yourself about depression and anxiety.
Ψ Encourage your partner to go for therapy for depression and anxiety, and celebrate the small victories together.
Ψ Measure progress on every little improvement instead of a general standard.
Ψ Do not assume. Always ask your partner how you can help. Always listen closely and nonjudgmentally.
Ψ Achieve the right balance of holding back and being patient, as well as encouraging them.

How couples therapy can help you and your partner

Couple therapy can help both you and your partner develop the necessary skills, techniques, and strategies to work through challenging situations. The key points that are often shared in sessions are:

Ψ Trusting one another
Ψ Noting of signals
Ψ Listening to one another
Ψ Self-care
Ψ Handling panic attacks

Couples therapy educates both parties that anxiety and depression require the effort of both individuals. When the partner of the affected individual begins to realise that it is more about being in tune with their emotion and less about themselves, the journey towards recovery can happen.

Conclusion

Anxiety and depression are challenging issues to navigate in any marriage. However, it is not the end of a marriage. We can discover and learn ways to work through such difficult moments during couples therapy. However, the most basic yet essential act of love that we can show our affected partner is being there for them.

It’s important for couples facing mental health challenges together to remember that they are still a team - even though it might not feel like it sometimes - working towards recovery for both individuals involved in order strengthen their relationship over time. Mutual respect and communication are key elements needed for successful navigation through challenging times caused by anxiety or depression; along with understanding how important self-compassion is when dealing with difficult emotions related to one’s own mental health struggles or those faced by one’s partner.

Helping someone you love navigate through dark times takes patience and courage — but if done correctly — can make all the difference in strengthening your bond as a couple while supporting each other through tough periods along your journey together towards proper management of the mental illness.